SO MANY FEELS.
Seriously. Boys are just making everything in my head so confused and unsure. I am a strong, semi-confident twenty-something, and I'm letting the stupidest things trip me up. I HATE feeling like this. It's just so out of my control I don't know what I'm supposed to do or how to feel.
Jesus. You'd think I'd have a grasp on this shit by now. Then again I've spent the better part of six years repressing memories and avoiding having feelings about someone I stood a chance with because I honestly could not handle being touched by another person. But actually dealing with the bullshit, and understanding that I do have power in situations, and that I'm not a victim, I've finally been able to talk to people I have interest in and allowed myself to actually have feelings of a romantical nature.
AND NOW IT'S DRIVING ME UP A FUCKING WALL. because boys are seriously such idiots sometimes.
On the bright side of my day there was a cute boy at the grocery store today and apparently we looked at each other in a 'sexual' manner. (or so says my lovely lovely darling friend Tequila Phoenix) actually she thought we knew each other because of the way we were looking and smiling.
Gin Rummy's still got a little spark in her after all. (Gin Rummy is me btw) But really, it is nice to know that I still have enough faith that the universe won't screw me over again, and that cute boys still smile at me after I've been out in humidity for a while.
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